Day 23: Baggy Pants

Day 23: Baggy Pants

"I don't idolize America, I'm dancing with the stars"

There's this talent show thing coming up. Its causing a huge issue in our school. Not negatively, but like that's all everyone is talking about. I'm not a talented person. I mean the only thing I have close to a talent is how I can listen to music, and break it down to even the smallest beats. Its something I like calling The "DJ Ear". Other than that I have the sixth sense when it comes to DJ'ing, something not any other DJ has like me, what I think separates me from the rest locally at least. I know what to play, and when to play it. So, here's the question, is what I do a talent or a skill, cause numerous people have told me that I should audition for this charity talent show. Firstly, DJ'ing is a skill. Almost anyone can do it with the countless weeks of practice. Picking the songs in gigs is what most people fail to achieve. I've been asked to scratch for this show. I mean lots of people in the world were blessed with a good voice. Some better, some lucky enough to make it to being a world superstar. I can spend a couple days planning out a scratch routine. Who would understand the preciseness I need to pull it off. A singer can miss a note and cover it up. If I push the crossfader a tad to much (The thing the controls the volume from the decks), push the vinyl turntables a millimeter off, scratch a wrong beat, the whole routine is ruined and it'll sound like rubbish. So it'll be a shame since I know the judges won't understand the technicality of my performance. Any who, school today seemed a bit down. My misses was absent, so I felt as if something major wasn't there. Her presence is something very vital to my mood, without her, I don't know, I'm just not me. Seems like Fiasco is becoming attached! Could be a problem if something happens, hope not though. Chelsea is playing Middlesbrough (Hope I spelled it right) later on, and it would put me in a good mood if we won! About the title, remember how I got in trouble for wearing skinny pants to school. My dad bought the school baggy pants for me, and they make me look like a clown. I mean I enjoy looking like a professional, but they make me look like a clown. Any who, short blog today. Here's a lyric to someone: Playa need a minute, Like a time out in tennis 'for I finish, How'd I get in this? Maybe 'was your hair, maybe 'was your flair, Maybe it's the heels and the way you wear, Maybe it's your real and the way you care, You don't care if I'm ill or a millionaire, The only thing that matters that the feeling's there. Fiasco Out! 

Day 22: Island of The Blue Dolphin

Day 22:  Island of The Blue Dolphin 

"Please, don't make me choose, I'm about to lose"

Guess who was isolated all day? For the stupid reason of having pants that I've been wearing for 9 months cause of a teacher that has her period every fucking day. So basically one of the school's pointless rules is that if you don't have "proper" uniform, you stay in the library until they get you proper cloth from home. I missed 6 lessons out of 8 today. Put me in a slightly repulsive mood I guess. Good news, thanks to you amazing peeps, I've hit a 1,000 views. Important milestone, never thought I'd ever hit 1,000, so thank you all dearly, you keep me motivated to come and type out my problems everyday for you. Its a great way of dealing with stress, and you help me with it, so thanks, your support means the world to me! Still confused about virtually everything. Tomorrow are school photos, so I'll try dressing "properly". I bought the baggy school pants which made me look like a clown considering I'm extremely skinny yet somewhat tall. Took them to a tailor and going to turn them into skinny pants! I've always admired cruel people, even cruel teachers. But we have this one teacher who just pushes things into a whole new horrible limit. She picks on me and my girlfriend in class and continuously threatens me about she'll call both our parents, made me miss 6 out of my 8 classes, and is just amazingly annoying. I enjoy cruelty, even towards me, cause that demonstrates power and superiority, something I strive for. But I mean there are limits. Put me in a repulsive mood. I was never a Hollywood ending. Majorly speaking in the girls department. Its not like I can date multiple girls (well I can, and yes being cocky, be jealous bitch!). Can lyrics describe my situation? So many beautiful girls, please don't make me choose, I'm about to lose, I ain't no Hollywood. She knows how to handle me, yet the other has got the recipe! Well I ain't gonna leave if I ain't got three! As confused as I am, I'm not depressed at all. I mean this is what I wanted, I'll make the most of it. I got my Nike's, skinny jeans, and my tee, will rock out any party at any given time, setting up my Team Toxic Bass, and living the dream. Nothing more I could ask for, and to that someone reading this, hey chica sexy, tú sabes que te, usted. Totally in a flirting mood! Fiasco Out.

Day 21: Holding On Happily

Day 21: Holding On Happily

"Going through that open door, tell me what you're waiting for?

Guess who's in an amazing mood? Cheers to anyone who guessed me (you deserve a Nobel prize for that). Nothing is really bothering me other than the fact I'm grounded. Turns out that its not simply cause I came home late. My parents know how corrupt my grade is basically. I wished my parents understood that even though I am exposed to these people and things, I have extremely powerful morals. Its frustrating, having parents who doubt there own child who they raised themselves, but I do understand that its simply cause they want to "protect me". I as a teenager though, do disagree majorly. Other than that, I'm doing alright. Content with my career, not going to call it great, but its good enough. Still striving to save up for that laptop that I want now more than ever, its going to launch my career into the next stages. I can make my own music, and not just mix other people's. God, I can't wait to produce, show the vision of music in my head to the world. Why am I in a great mood? I have a girl that puts me in one. Me and my darling had this question thing where we kept asking each other questions. Apparently that's the only way I can directly get her to open up to me. She answered one question in a way, and the look in her eyes, was just perfection. We also talked about the negatives and how we can become better as a couple. Let me resort to lyrics to send a message to you love, I know you don't even read my blog, but hopefully someone can send this message from the peeps who do: If it's something that you want, darling you don't have to run, you don't have to go..., just stay with me, baby stay with me. Well, I'm not sure what this is gonna be, but with my eyes closed all I see,is the skyline, through the window, the moon above you and the streets below. These lines remind me of us for some reason so much, in a good way, in the amazing way. I think its fair enough that I'm being completely honest when I say, I love you. I know in your head you're probably thinking about how I should get a room. So I'll let you be, and I shall go and watch some Underemployed, do my homework, and then play that cowboy video game I was talking about yesterday. Shit is really intense on it, I'm in Mexico trying to track down that gang. I wish I could kill my fake ex friends just like he does. Fiasco Out! 

Day 20: Silenced By The Night

Day 20: Silenced By The Night

"The blood of a martyr is a million times more scared than the ink of a scholar"

Still nothing great happening. I mean I try to be happy out of the slightest things, but there was nothing really to smile about since yesterday. I woke up today, distracted myself from the troubles of life by playing a couple hours on my PlayStation. Its an old game, one about a cow boy, in the old Americas. He was in a gang, blinded by the gangs moralities. He had a family, but he was shot and thrown in the middle of the desert and left for dead, only to be rescued. He is now a bounty hunter, doing what he can in order to go back and demolish the gang that he once called family. Although it may not be the same violent situation with us, we've all went through the same stuff. Some of us even killed (mentally) by who we once considered our second family. I know that feeling, when you'd rather bleed to death than go out that way. Standing in the line of fire of your own friends. It qualifies to me as the worst way to go. I mean it qualifies as dying as a martyr. And to me, and to all those with my mentality, a drop of blood of a martyr is a million times more valuable than all the miles of ink put down by all of history's scholars. What I just stated is a bit complicated, so you can re read it and try comprehending what I'm trying to state. Any who, I have a gut feeling something bad is going to happen, I don't know why. But something will come crashing down, as if I don't have enough things falling down at the moment. Going to try sneaking out this Thursday. I'm going to try my hardest to set up everything so I have 2 or 3 hours to go out. I mean I can apologize, but I hate apologizing to my parents when I'm confident I'm correct, and the only reason they're mad is cause I'm growing up. Maybe too fast, but not fast enough to expose me to any danger. I'll think of something and hopefully have something solid by Tuesday. As for my career, I'm really being held back by not having a reliable laptop. I'm trying to save up for one, but God knows when I'll be able to hit 750 dollars. Also working on getting some air time on a radio, and setting up a recording studio. That's at least 2,500 dollars of equipment, but if I can get that, then I can let my skills prosper even more. Relationship update is fine I guess. Won't lie for the sake of spotlight and say its amazing, but its good, not bad maybe. Certainly not bad enough for me to complain. Not great though, maybe its cause I've settled in, I don't know, its honestly the last thing I want to worry about with all the problems I have at home and with my career. Maybe its cause I had my hopes up too high about it. Any who, going to go watch countless episodes of Underemployed, Fiasco Out.

Day 19: Come Wake Me Up

Day 19: Come Wake Me Up 

"Time works out everything"

I know its been a while since I blogged, and no, I'm not getting bored of it, I haven't had internet for the past couple of days. I've also been grounded since Thursday. Stupid reason, I just came home late cause I have a driver that comes 2 hours after you call him, and parents that know that yet can't seem to except that that's the reason. I don't know much about parenthood, but I guess its just the fact that I've grown up, and I've changed a lot in the past months, and they can't accept that. I'm grounded apparently until college, but I can easily sneak out, and have numerous ways of making sure they don't get in the way of my life. Things haven't been going very great for me. Its been a rough few days. Thus I am kind of depressed, but I'll somehow manage to cope and try to make things better. A person very dear to me told me once "you're not real, you always have your hopes too high about everything." I'm afraid your right, and with all the clouds in my brain, I hope you weren't right, for my own good, and for the sake of a lot of things I've attached to recently. In addition, another amazing girl has decided to take a stand for her heart, and that's something I respect a lot. Someone I had a little thing for at the beginning of this year. I know you're reading this, I was just too scared to say it face to face, and thought you were too far out my league. Been proved wrong I guess, and unfortunately, at a horrible time. I don't know what to do, won't lie. I know you could make me a lot happier than I am at the moment, its just that.....I have no argument. All I wanted to say is that I know and you know that you can burn out if you really want to, and never glow more if you find another purpose, apart from me, to live with someone far superior, and I'd hate for it to happen, just leave me your ashes to remember you by. Trust me on this, trusting me enough to tell me won't be something you'll regret. Any who, I'll go back to being depressed, will post tomorrow, Fiasco out.

 

Day 18: Phantom of the Opera

Day 18: Phantom of the Opera

"Never plan to fight, plan to win"

Today was another quite interesting day. Alright, so basically I went to school with the mindset that something was going to happen due to my issue yesterday (You can read it on yesterdays blog). I've always had a way with planning things, and when they don't go the way I planned, I panic, kind of like what happened today. So basically, I had expected some of the guys who are friends with the devil to come after school to physically destroy me. I know I'm not tall, and I'm very skinny and light, but I had planned a strategy for every person I could expect, but my plan was based on things happening after school, in a crowded area, and thus I could avoid any excess physical confrontation. First break came, and some guy wanted to talk to me. He was the devil's cousin. I walked up not expecting anything, but then out of the blue I was sucker pushed before saying a single world and being threatened. That was certainly the last thing I had in mind. Two choices at that point, either to try and maintain my cool which recently I've become very successful in, or try and fight him off. I then gave it a quick thought, if I use my energy, and risk being injured now against one person, what if more people come after me later on? They're going to be stronger, could be more than one, and I could get a few bruises. Maintained my cool with the assumption that people are coming after me later. After school, I walk out, expecting the worse, but with my countless hours of planning, I had nothing to worry about. As to my surprise, nothing happened. At that moment, I was happy that no one was going to get a beating today, but I did regret not doing anything earlier, I mean so what if the guy weighs twice as much as me and has a height advantage, I'm a martial arts addict, might not practice it, but I learned a thing or two out of excessive Cage fighting matches. Certainly learned a lesson, don't take shit expecting more. The reasons the Russians had closed in on Berlin in the Second World War was due to Hitler's assumption that the troops around the city would launch a counter, but they never did, thus he they surrendered. I expected something that didn't happen, thus I seemed like someone who had backed out. So I have my plans set out for more issues that could happen later, I'm not planning to fight, I'm planning to win, that's my motto. Fiasco Out. 

Day 17: Animal Rights

Day 17: Animal Rights

" The secret to outclassing your enemies, is to think ahead"

Apologies for not posting throughout the whole weekend. It was a very long, adrenaline filled weekend. Thursday was alright. Valentines didn't go as great as I expected, but emotions were the last thing I was concerned about that night (I find it pointless, so yeah, didn't really care). My mind set was on the party later on that night. After a day that didn't go as I had planned emotionally, I was worried about me being in such a mood where I couldn't perform to the standards I set for myself. So as the day went on, I set about preparing everything, tracks, ideas, and a quick re-cap of everything for myself. Packed up my equipment, and went about. It took a while for the place to get set up properly. After it did, guess instead of letting the stress hold me down, I let it motivate me to go harder at it. It wasn't like my best set ever, but surely reaches the top. Why? Cause this is the first electronic crowd I've dj'd for in this backward hip hip country. Basically Omar and I destroyed it. Next day, was a fair thing at a school. Its the usual stuff, hanging with friends, and talking and enjoying whatever we get. If your someone who remembers anything from my beginning blog, people from my old ghetto ass school were there. As usual, they started calling me names. I ignored, but then I notice something, my ex standing in the middle of that group. I as usual, pretend I don't hear, keep my cool, and simply hold my friend in my arms and she gets what I'm doing (I know I have a girlfriend, she wasn't there, had to do something). Kept that going on for pretty much the whole night. Next day, I'm out with Lil Man and Omar and another friend. He takes a picture of me, and Instagrams it. First comment, the ex calling me a name. Wasn't going to stay quiet, replied. A couple of my friends had my back. It was basically an all out comment battle in which we were clearly winning ( 3 against 1, she had no chance of outsmarting us). Kept on going for about a couple of ours, then I get a phone call, saying I had to "count my days" because I was going to "die". Funny, and if I was back in Year 7 would've been excited, but since I hate getting physical know. One of my friends calls and fixes shit. But then that psycho calls her brother and over exaggerates everything, and he asks to meet me downstairs. We talk, and both agree she was wrong for starting it. He isn't happy about Omar's comment (Won't lie, was encouraged by me, and took things a bit over the top). To hell with it, things have been quiet ever since yesterday, hope that it stays that way and things die out. I have parties coming up, tests, and lots of other things I need to direct my attention and energy toward. Fiasco Out.