Day 70: Dirty Audio

Day 70: Dirty Audio 

Not as consistent as I used to be. But consistent enough. I see quite a number of people have found out that I'm back to this, disappointing, yet exciting. Glad I don't have to do a year and a half of filling in like last time. This all feels a bit weird, that it's been well over a year and I'm keeping this somehow alive. At least I could stay committed somewhat to something in my life, and I'm glad it's not a person. Still feels a bit surreal. I was walking around high school in my tucked in shirt, skinny black jeans I always get shit from teachers for wearing, catching the bus after school, doing my homework, getting kicked out of class at times, ditching school at other days, coming back home to daily typing up how my day went, what was on my mind or what pissed me off. Now I have a DR (Dissecting Room) or some boring lab each morning, I get up on my own, without my mom waking me up, drive my own car to university, rush to catch the lecture cause if I miss one more than my attendance becomes too low and I won't be able to sit the exam. Stay in university until night time drowning in books because I've spent the first four months of the semester doing nothing and there's three weeks until the exam and I have to know the anatomy of the entire human body. Okay I'll stop. I mean if there's a point I'm trying to state, it's just look how quickly everything changed. I've been in university for a year and a half, yet I still feel like I started yesterday with the excitement and hunger of a freshman. I can even remember my first day in my new high school in year 10. Yet here I am, a semester away from exam that determines whether I'm basically done with a third of medical school, fucking hell. I mean I know this isn't a dramatic thing, but isn't it overwhelming? If you're reading this and you're in high school, tomorrow you'll wake up and find yourself a year into university. What about me? Will I wake up tomorrow and find myself a year away from finishing medicine? Unbelievable how time flies. Things have changed dramatically, remember how I used to claim I had two best friends and we were sort of a trio that could never be separated and were with each other everyday? One of them [(Lil Man) He's gonna laugh at his horrible name if he reads it should he remember he posted like four times] is in Eastern Europe and can speak a language that sounds like a scene from Taken now, and the other is in the States (Still in touch though of course). I'm in touch with maybe 4 or 5 girls from high school now, but other than that, all new friends, new people. Hell, this is a new life, one I'm still trying to get accustomed to. And while I'll constantly say take me back two years ago, it'll never happen. Just astonishing, especially if you take a moment to see where your life was two years ago, and where it is now. No complaints though, I'm grateful, and wherever I end up, I shall attempt to adapt (and most likely fail). With all due respect, Fiasco Out.   

Day 69: Machine Gun Funk

Day 69: Machine Gun Funk 

I think I'm back. I don't know this is the best "comeback" line I could think of. Unbelievable that my last blog post was about year and a half ago. Unbelievable how ridiculous I think I sound as I read through all my old posts after all this time, as ridiculous as this one will look in a year and a half. Would it be funny to make a joke about this being day "69"? Sorry I had to. I have joined University of Khartoum, Faculty of Medicine: The most prestigious and sought for faculty in the nation. I've made my parents proud, passed first year (barely), not passing second year as of now but should be able to resurrect it in the next semester. I'm referred to as doctor by all my uncles and aunts, I know which nerve is most likely to be injured if you fall on the mid shaft of your humerus as well (Radial I think). I drive a brand new car with no keys. Life is perfect. Sounds like it at least. Should be if you're not the ungrateful bitch that I am. I'm not ungrateful though, and you never know the blessing you're in until you're not in it anymore. Perfect example would be high school. I loved it, and if you read back I openly stated that. When it was over I couldn't wait to start university. I got into the one I want(ed), studying the major I want(ed). Let me pause for a minute because I still haven't got used to typing again. University has deteriorated my English immensely. Used big words there to make it sound ironic. If people read my blog it was to hear me complain about the same things they complain about. I am about to begin. The most prestigious university in the nation doesn't feel so prestigious (to me at least). Most of the people in it seem to absolutely love it. I mean to be honest according to anyone in any other batch in all the other faculties I was fortunate enough to end up in what is the worst batch in the campus (I agree, but if you're reading this and you're in my batch you probably aren't one of the reasons). It's a nice place, with freedom educationally and politically. But it isn't what I vouched for in every way possible. The major problem is I feel like I can't be myself with the people around me (besides the squad). Everything I would usually say would be deemed inappropriate and unacceptable, I think the issue is there. Not to mention the things everyone does for fun are so unbelievably dull. We have a book club, one that people actually go to...I'm trying to clear this up in a way that doesn't make you think of me as some rebel that wants to come off as a bad ass. I actually feel anti social the moment I step into campus. I still can't get used to the fact that in I'm half way through second year, and there has been two gatherings that were outside university that involved both genders. TWO in a year and a half, that ended up with the guys sitting on one end and talking to each other and the girls sitting on the other. I actually feel anti social, something I haven't felt since I was the short Sudanese kid in fifth grade in a class full of racists Arabs. Educationally I'm struggling, because I need pressure to study. I have a mid and a final each semester, that I panic study one week before and end up failing. No assignments, nothing to make me feel like opening a book. As you can tell it's also not a party university (it's the exact damn opposite), so my DJ career has spiraled, I occasionally DJ but nowhere at the rate I did before. There's pluses. I've met some amazing people, I have an amazing new squad, having my own car is amazing. But the major aspects of my life, I just don't know what to feel about them. With all due respect, Fiasco out. (Feels weird saying that...)