Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Day 5: Regrets

Day 5: Regrets

“Time was passing like a hand waving from a train I wanted to be on.
I hope you never have to think about anything as much as I think about you.”
Before I get emotional over this message, just wanted to say today was a good day. Had a sports day, got a couple of 3rd places, so I'm happy with that. My whole body hurts. Pretty much all that happened today. Today's post is the one that matters to me the most, so I'll start of quickly, since this is quite the story. This is the best place I speak, my word choice is best here, so I'll take advantage of that. I guess I have to say our story before I can start off so people know what I'm talking about. I'll speak out of memory of something that lasted for years, so I might get a few details wrong. I just wanted to clear everything up, apologize for being the guy I was, the guy I still am. I guess things I say could cause a bit of instability in my current relationship since everyone's going to run up and make a big deal of what I say, but no worries, you're worth everything. 2010, we started talking. We never even had one boring conversation. 2011, end of Summer, we're walking, me, you, and your crazy friend. She decided to spill the beans and tell me that you like me, and that every night you'd be talking about me. All you did was look down to the street, and I put one arm around you, and said I like you too. I also decided to hug you and you almost stumbled over from the mixture of embarrassment and shyness (I thought that was super cute). Then I moved to Sudan. Conversations faded away, we went from talking every day to talking once a week or so for a few minutes. Thinking you were over me, I start dating some other chick. I tell you about it as in we're just friends, still having that thought in mind. A while later I was single, and we were talking at the same pace we used to when we first started talking, but I guess if you were trying to point anything out, I was too blind to notice. We brought up the topic once more a while later, that's when I picked it up that you were trying to be there for me all along. I knew then, but then with time, conversations faded again. Eventually, I get into another relationship. My current one to be more precise. But now, we talk at the same pace we used to talk to. I hope that it stays this way. But this isn't a post to get views, this post is cause I know you're going to be reading this. I doubt you even care about me anymore, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I know you think I'm the most ignorant guy ever, but you don't know how much I value you. I'm sorry for all the neglect. You don't know how much it hurts me, what I did, what I possible could still be doing. You deserve none of that, an amazing girl like you deserves nothing but the best. I'm sorry for being a reason for any pain you felt. A jerk like I am can't control it, you were always right, I was always wrong. It hurts thinking about how things could have been so much better for you. You're amazing, more than that. The pain you kept inside you, and decided to ignore just for the sake of talking to me, whatever you went through, you know it more than me. I just wanted you to know that I take responsibility for everything, I didn't know how my wrong decisions could effect the people around me, you mostly. Mostly, I'm sorry for the words I never said, like how you are the best thing that happened to me, and how I'm proud to have you in my world. I don't want to make any promises, or any decisions here. The future's near, but never certain. Everything I put you through, Blame it on me. Fiasco Out.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Day 4: Some Present Details

"Those who only look to the present, are certain to miss the future"

Day 4: Some Present Details

People have been telling me I'm gay for blogging. I mean I've heard the same thing from a few people today, my writing is good, but the concept of how I lay out almost all the personal details of my life to people is "gay". In addition, anyone who enjoys opening my blog and reading it "has no life". To anyone who shares the same opinion, no one's forcing you to read anything. I'd rather type up my personal life on a blog to the whole damn world than result to smoking, drugs, and alcohol like how you're brother, best friend, boy friend, or whoever is close to you does it. In addition, my readers aren't "no life's", there's nothing wrong in following a story of someone. Any who, I decided to clear up a few things that one of my best friends posted on my blog last night (Fresh New Start by Lil Man). Rather than delete the article, I'll just fix up a few points. Yes, I didn't fit in at my old school (Thank God, if I had I never would've got to where I am today). Yes I did date a girl for 2 months and I got dumped. But, looking carefully at the situation, I never loved her. When you're a loser like I was at the time, and you get anywhere near anything fairly attractive, your hormones go crazy, that's all there is to it. I only used to say I love her to give the girls the impression that I'm a caring guy (Don't blame me, it's the easiest strategy). And finally, I did get pushed around in my old school (Not physically, just mostly verbally). The part is, what Lil Man was right about, I didn't give 2 shits. I had my PS3, my mixer, and my family, and I wasn't miserable, hell I was happy. The number of fucks I'd given were zero. Lastly, yes, I am dating a girl with no phone, that hardly goes out, and has strict parents. In my opinion, she's the prettiest in our school, although barely anyone agrees and decides to choose one of the chicks that wears tight cloth or has a massive ass. I asked myself a lot why I chose to settle with that, but then it hit me, I might be only 15, but they say love comes at any age. I know she loves me, maybe that's the reason. Whatever it is, its kept me settled down with her more than any other girl, and I think its going to stay that way for quite a while. Being honest, as impossible as it is, I'll try and pull of a stunt and get married to her.(Staying with her for 7 or so more years, I guess I can actually accomplish the impossible if I pull that off). Always would be nice to tell your kids how me and their mom had been together through the impossible and got married. None the less, she's an amazing young lady: humble, respectful, calm, smart, and very beautiful. I'm very glad to call her mine. That's all there is to it. No threat messages today (Out of the usual). Got a sports day tomorrow so my mood's alright.( Don't care who wins, just glad I don't have any classes). I've just recently noticed I stopped the poetic rap and calm house music and started listening to the old school violent Eminem and Tyler The Creator style. I've also been talking in a very violent tone whether its in blogging or in person. Damn, I guess I could really be getting cocky. Whatever happens, I'll get my mind straight soon enough and won't let it effect my life. Fiasco Out.

Monday, January 28, 2013

Fresh New Start...

This is One of Fiasco's good friends.
Lets Start off Shall we? Basically Fiasco Has lived one of his worst years , in a crappy , Ghetto School.
Then suddenly, he  changed recently , A new person , A new personality :)
More Social than ever , Hardly Hated by anyone , Friendly with Almost 100 people overseas.
And he has a good Reputation as A Professional DJ At this Age :).  Even though I'm just his friend , I've seen the way he struggled , He hated his school to the point where he left , Hardly anyone liked him , Tried to fit in but it back fired , He dated a chick that he actually loved for 2 months then he got Dumped all of a sudden for God knows why. He didn't deserve any of this , He was treated as if he did something wrong to those people , do you think that's fair? he was new , just came in From Jeddah  , No one liked him , he didn't give 2 shits though , He was still the A*student that Aced every examination  , Now Things changed..
He couldn't ask for anything better now , Commonly Known as Sudans Top Electronic DJ , and ONLY at this Age , Amazing isn't?  And Dating someone that I dare say any of you have the balls to date , Not having a phone , Hardly Goes out , Religious Parents... Yet Fiasco is still with her. would any of you do that?
I honestly wouldn't ,and she's one of the prettiest out there in this school , Now Fiasco , Known as ' Toxicbass' all across areas in this city has the best life , and this is just the beginning. A fresh Start :)
Lets hope it sticks to that way , Lil_Man Out :P

Day 3: Mr. Nice Guy

"Still walking down that road"
I've been called "cocky" for my post yesterday. Basically, here's the story. My good friend as a joke posted a picture of the draft of my post yesterday, which of course, I fixed up. In that draft, I seem very cocky (I even seem cocky in the real post, but its for the sake of the story). I mean I have my friends who'd agree and joke around with, but yeah, I'm not really cocky, just too confident, and too honest. There's a difference between those two things. In addition if you're someone who joked about it, this post sure as hell isn't directed you, considering were friends, I probably love your ass. Just don't want people taking it seriously. This is a slightly longer blog post though. I'm really ashamed of myself. I changed. Everything wise. Months ago I gained confidence through getting into my first relationship. Its a shocker considering the loser I was, and the social perfectionist she was (I know you could be reading this, some loser probably showed you this post,  but don't get too hyped, I insult you like any "loser" would). But truth does come out later, and I got dumped (YAY!). After that you're one sad pathetic loser, but then I changed, ever since that period, I'm a different person. I don't even care anymore, relationship wise I'm not heartless (Praise the Lord) but I'm just not the optimistic person I was. Simply, and not cause of the girl, but the horrible feeling that came at the wrong time to the wrong person (Me). It wasn't cause of the emotional drop, but I was already in a shit school. I also had a lot of other problems at the time which concerned me more: No friends, DJ'ing was going horribly, and I basically had nothing to resort to for my pain. Then, and with time, I got friends, and slowly I'm losing them one by one (I really have been alone, so I don't worry about the ones gone). Thank God my current girlfriend saved me, at least what was left of me. Showed me the difference between the numerous fake and real relationships I had in the past. I'm her first, so she's new to the whole pointless high school love stories, but just the innocent love is enough for me, and its much better to be with a real girl that refuses to get past a hug them some hoe that will undress for you on the first night (I speak out of experience). I'll wrap this up tomorrow, I know you've probably got better stuff to do then waste your time on this page. Congratulations for my two best buddies starting to blog (Glad I was an inspiration). And thanks to anyone who's reading this for getting me to 100+ views. Especially if you're one of the readers from a country I haven't visited (Sorry to the reader from Malaysia, I've been there, beautiful country!). Hell with it, include yourself. Offers still up for anyone who wants to use my blog. Fiasco Out.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

Day 2: One Man in Two Worlds

"Two Worlds, One Host"
Day 2: One Man in Two Worlds
I'll save the gossip, just got a threat message from a chick back in my old hell hole of a school with the most annoying and pointless scum of the Earth. One Man in Two Worlds. I'll get to that at the end. Was never a fan of those lame girls who have there period and can't control it. Won't keep the title a puzzle and save you the trouble. The story is how my life changed. I'm a different man now, Fiasco is now nothing more than a pen-name, I am now Toxic Bass. Life was good in Jeddah. I had 3-4 friends, a very amazing girl, shame me and her never got official, and no priorities. No one knew who I was, Thursday I would spend playing football, grab a Pepsi, meet up with a beautiful girl, talk for 30 minutes, and I'd go home. Fiasco would wear jeans, the first shirt he'd fine, and any sneakers. Then life went on, I moved to my motherland. Won't include the shit days of the 9th grade in that hell hole. I moved to a much better school. My nickname went from creatively thought through offensive phrases to: Toxic Bass, or as friends call me, Toxic. Toxic wears skinny jeans, and usually a tucked in all buttoned shirt, Polo shirt, always had cologne on me. Please excuse my cockiness, and please don't think I'm full of myself, but for the sake of the story and the point, I'll have to be honest (I am far from self centered). Toxic could also now talk to girls (HELL YEAH). He had a girlfriend, and a few girls hitting on him. He went out every week to an expensive place, blew some of his DJ'ing cash, and went with his friends who were either getting high or drunk (Thank God his morals kept him clean). He was still an A student, he had everything positive. And although most people would be happy, Toxic has one very negative thing Fiasco never had, he was a trouble magnet, and as the days continue, he'll soon learn he was better off as Fiasco.Oh, and since people wanted to know about the gossip, basically what happened is, when I was at the hell hole, I had a little thing going on with some chick, and I met her friends at a restaurant and I asked if she ever liked me, and joked around about how she stalked me, and now I get a message, and I quote: "If u hate me or have a prob. With me dont talk shit about me with me frnds be a man and speak directly to me". Still didn't reply, but I'm guessing it can't be something with words longer than 5 letters so she understands. Oh and if you do want to blog, you can use my Blog Page. I'd gladly want a few more authors online. Fiasco Out.

Intro: Every Journey Begins With A Single Step

Intro: My First Blog! 

It would be awkward if I have turn into some break out blogger later and not a breakout DJ. But in case I do become famous, brief intro, I'm 15, wannabe DJ I suppose, not my fault being a talented musician in a country full of people who dance to Drake. Any who, first blog, no inspirations, always was into writing, figured out this couldn't be that hard since that hot chick on Awkward seems to do it fine and get people to read it with her being a social outcast on the show. I'm not the most popular in the bunch, but I do get around thanks to my career, otherwise would have been called the midget like I was in my childhood, or being called a fancy name for a prostitute when my high school life begun. Fine now, happy with the way things are, I'll survive. Oh and if this blog does get popular and I don't like you, you should start worrying. If you're reading this (hoping someone other than myself sees this amazing piece of text -note the sarcasm-) you should really start blogging, totally legit thing, Just a Little Something, Fiasco Out.