Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Day 23: Baggy Pants

Day 23: Baggy Pants

"I don't idolize America, I'm dancing with the stars"
There's this talent show thing coming up. Its causing a huge issue in our school. Not negatively, but like that's all everyone is talking about. I'm not a talented person. I mean the only thing I have close to a talent is how I can listen to music, and break it down to even the smallest beats. Its something I like calling The "DJ Ear". Other than that I have the sixth sense when it comes to DJ'ing, something not any other DJ has like me, what I think separates me from the rest locally at least. I know what to play, and when to play it. So, here's the question, is what I do a talent or a skill, cause numerous people have told me that I should audition for this charity talent show. Firstly, DJ'ing is a skill. Almost anyone can do it with the countless weeks of practice. Picking the songs in gigs is what most people fail to achieve. I've been asked to scratch for this show. I mean lots of people in the world were blessed with a good voice. Some better, some lucky enough to make it to being a world superstar. I can spend a couple days planning out a scratch routine. Who would understand the preciseness I need to pull it off. A singer can miss a note and cover it up. If I push the crossfader a tad to much (The thing the controls the volume from the decks), push the vinyl turntables a millimeter off, scratch a wrong beat, the whole routine is ruined and it'll sound like rubbish. So it'll be a shame since I know the judges won't understand the technicality of my performance. Any who, school today seemed a bit down. My misses was absent, so I felt as if something major wasn't there. Her presence is something very vital to my mood, without her, I don't know, I'm just not me. Seems like Fiasco is becoming attached! Could be a problem if something happens, hope not though. Chelsea is playing Middlesbrough (Hope I spelled it right) later on, and it would put me in a good mood if we won! About the title, remember how I got in trouble for wearing skinny pants to school. My dad bought the school baggy pants for me, and they make me look like a clown. I mean I enjoy looking like a professional, but they make me look like a clown. Any who, short blog today. Here's a lyric to someone: Playa need a minute, Like a time out in tennis 'for I finish, How'd I get in this? Maybe 'was your hair, maybe 'was your flair, Maybe it's the heels and the way you wear, Maybe it's your real and the way you care, You don't care if I'm ill or a millionaire, The only thing that matters that the feeling's there. Fiasco Out! 

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Day 22: Island of The Blue Dolphin

Day 22:  Island of The Blue Dolphin 

"Please, don't make me choose, I'm about to lose"
Guess who was isolated all day? For the stupid reason of having pants that I've been wearing for 9 months cause of a teacher that has her period every fucking day. So basically one of the school's pointless rules is that if you don't have "proper" uniform, you stay in the library until they get you proper cloth from home. I missed 6 lessons out of 8 today. Put me in a slightly repulsive mood I guess. Good news, thanks to you amazing peeps, I've hit a 1,000 views. Important milestone, never thought I'd ever hit 1,000, so thank you all dearly, you keep me motivated to come and type out my problems everyday for you. Its a great way of dealing with stress, and you help me with it, so thanks, your support means the world to me! Still confused about virtually everything. Tomorrow are school photos, so I'll try dressing "properly". I bought the baggy school pants which made me look like a clown considering I'm extremely skinny yet somewhat tall. Took them to a tailor and going to turn them into skinny pants! I've always admired cruel people, even cruel teachers. But we have this one teacher who just pushes things into a whole new horrible limit. She picks on me and my girlfriend in class and continuously threatens me about she'll call both our parents, made me miss 6 out of my 8 classes, and is just amazingly annoying. I enjoy cruelty, even towards me, cause that demonstrates power and superiority, something I strive for. But I mean there are limits. Put me in a repulsive mood. I was never a Hollywood ending. Majorly speaking in the girls department. Its not like I can date multiple girls (well I can, and yes being cocky, be jealous bitch!). Can lyrics describe my situation? So many beautiful girls, please don't make me choose, I'm about to lose, I ain't no Hollywood. She knows how to handle me, yet the other has got the recipe! Well I ain't gonna leave if I ain't got three! As confused as I am, I'm not depressed at all. I mean this is what I wanted, I'll make the most of it. I got my Nike's, skinny jeans, and my tee, will rock out any party at any given time, setting up my Team Toxic Bass, and living the dream. Nothing more I could ask for, and to that someone reading this, hey chica sexy, tĂș sabes que te, usted. Totally in a flirting mood! Fiasco Out.

Monday, February 25, 2013

Day 21: Holding On Happily

Day 21: Holding On Happily

"Going through that open door, tell me what you're waiting for?
Guess who's in an amazing mood? Cheers to anyone who guessed me (you deserve a Nobel prize for that). Nothing is really bothering me other than the fact I'm grounded. Turns out that its not simply cause I came home late. My parents know how corrupt my grade is basically. I wished my parents understood that even though I am exposed to these people and things, I have extremely powerful morals. Its frustrating, having parents who doubt there own child who they raised themselves, but I do understand that its simply cause they want to "protect me". I as a teenager though, do disagree majorly. Other than that, I'm doing alright. Content with my career, not going to call it great, but its good enough. Still striving to save up for that laptop that I want now more than ever, its going to launch my career into the next stages. I can make my own music, and not just mix other people's. God, I can't wait to produce, show the vision of music in my head to the world. Why am I in a great mood? I have a girl that puts me in one. Me and my darling had this question thing where we kept asking each other questions. Apparently that's the only way I can directly get her to open up to me. She answered one question in a way, and the look in her eyes, was just perfection. We also talked about the negatives and how we can become better as a couple. Let me resort to lyrics to send a message to you love, I know you don't even read my blog, but hopefully someone can send this message from the peeps who do: If it's something that you want, darling you don't have to run, you don't have to go..., just stay with me, baby stay with me. Well, I'm not sure what this is gonna be, but with my eyes closed all I see,is the skyline, through the window, the moon above you and the streets below. These lines remind me of us for some reason so much, in a good way, in the amazing way. I think its fair enough that I'm being completely honest when I say, I love you. I know in your head you're probably thinking about how I should get a room. So I'll let you be, and I shall go and watch some Underemployed, do my homework, and then play that cowboy video game I was talking about yesterday. Shit is really intense on it, I'm in Mexico trying to track down that gang. I wish I could kill my fake ex friends just like he does. Fiasco Out! 

Sunday, February 24, 2013

Day 20: Silenced By The Night

Day 20: Silenced By The Night

"The blood of a martyr is a million times more scared than the ink of a scholar"
Still nothing great happening. I mean I try to be happy out of the slightest things, but there was nothing really to smile about since yesterday. I woke up today, distracted myself from the troubles of life by playing a couple hours on my PlayStation. Its an old game, one about a cow boy, in the old Americas. He was in a gang, blinded by the gangs moralities. He had a family, but he was shot and thrown in the middle of the desert and left for dead, only to be rescued. He is now a bounty hunter, doing what he can in order to go back and demolish the gang that he once called family. Although it may not be the same violent situation with us, we've all went through the same stuff. Some of us even killed (mentally) by who we once considered our second family. I know that feeling, when you'd rather bleed to death than go out that way. Standing in the line of fire of your own friends. It qualifies to me as the worst way to go. I mean it qualifies as dying as a martyr. And to me, and to all those with my mentality, a drop of blood of a martyr is a million times more valuable than all the miles of ink put down by all of history's scholars. What I just stated is a bit complicated, so you can re read it and try comprehending what I'm trying to state. Any who, I have a gut feeling something bad is going to happen, I don't know why. But something will come crashing down, as if I don't have enough things falling down at the moment. Going to try sneaking out this Thursday. I'm going to try my hardest to set up everything so I have 2 or 3 hours to go out. I mean I can apologize, but I hate apologizing to my parents when I'm confident I'm correct, and the only reason they're mad is cause I'm growing up. Maybe too fast, but not fast enough to expose me to any danger. I'll think of something and hopefully have something solid by Tuesday. As for my career, I'm really being held back by not having a reliable laptop. I'm trying to save up for one, but God knows when I'll be able to hit 750 dollars. Also working on getting some air time on a radio, and setting up a recording studio. That's at least 2,500 dollars of equipment, but if I can get that, then I can let my skills prosper even more. Relationship update is fine I guess. Won't lie for the sake of spotlight and say its amazing, but its good, not bad maybe. Certainly not bad enough for me to complain. Not great though, maybe its cause I've settled in, I don't know, its honestly the last thing I want to worry about with all the problems I have at home and with my career. Maybe its cause I had my hopes up too high about it. Any who, going to go watch countless episodes of Underemployed, Fiasco Out.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Day 19: Come Wake Me Up

Day 19: Come Wake Me Up 

"Time works out everything"
I know its been a while since I blogged, and no, I'm not getting bored of it, I haven't had internet for the past couple of days. I've also been grounded since Thursday. Stupid reason, I just came home late cause I have a driver that comes 2 hours after you call him, and parents that know that yet can't seem to except that that's the reason. I don't know much about parenthood, but I guess its just the fact that I've grown up, and I've changed a lot in the past months, and they can't accept that. I'm grounded apparently until college, but I can easily sneak out, and have numerous ways of making sure they don't get in the way of my life. Things haven't been going very great for me. Its been a rough few days. Thus I am kind of depressed, but I'll somehow manage to cope and try to make things better. A person very dear to me told me once "you're not real, you always have your hopes too high about everything." I'm afraid your right, and with all the clouds in my brain, I hope you weren't right, for my own good, and for the sake of a lot of things I've attached to recently. In addition, another amazing girl has decided to take a stand for her heart, and that's something I respect a lot. Someone I had a little thing for at the beginning of this year. I know you're reading this, I was just too scared to say it face to face, and thought you were too far out my league. Been proved wrong I guess, and unfortunately, at a horrible time. I don't know what to do, won't lie. I know you could make me a lot happier than I am at the moment, its just that.....I have no argument. All I wanted to say is that I know and you know that you can burn out if you really want to, and never glow more if you find another purpose, apart from me, to live with someone far superior, and I'd hate for it to happen, just leave me your ashes to remember you by. Trust me on this, trusting me enough to tell me won't be something you'll regret. Any who, I'll go back to being depressed, will post tomorrow, Fiasco out.
 

Monday, February 18, 2013

Day 18: Phantom of the Opera

Day 18: Phantom of the Opera

"Never plan to fight, plan to win"
Today was another quite interesting day. Alright, so basically I went to school with the mindset that something was going to happen due to my issue yesterday (You can read it on yesterdays blog). I've always had a way with planning things, and when they don't go the way I planned, I panic, kind of like what happened today. So basically, I had expected some of the guys who are friends with the devil to come after school to physically destroy me. I know I'm not tall, and I'm very skinny and light, but I had planned a strategy for every person I could expect, but my plan was based on things happening after school, in a crowded area, and thus I could avoid any excess physical confrontation. First break came, and some guy wanted to talk to me. He was the devil's cousin. I walked up not expecting anything, but then out of the blue I was sucker pushed before saying a single world and being threatened. That was certainly the last thing I had in mind. Two choices at that point, either to try and maintain my cool which recently I've become very successful in, or try and fight him off. I then gave it a quick thought, if I use my energy, and risk being injured now against one person, what if more people come after me later on? They're going to be stronger, could be more than one, and I could get a few bruises. Maintained my cool with the assumption that people are coming after me later. After school, I walk out, expecting the worse, but with my countless hours of planning, I had nothing to worry about. As to my surprise, nothing happened. At that moment, I was happy that no one was going to get a beating today, but I did regret not doing anything earlier, I mean so what if the guy weighs twice as much as me and has a height advantage, I'm a martial arts addict, might not practice it, but I learned a thing or two out of excessive Cage fighting matches. Certainly learned a lesson, don't take shit expecting more. The reasons the Russians had closed in on Berlin in the Second World War was due to Hitler's assumption that the troops around the city would launch a counter, but they never did, thus he they surrendered. I expected something that didn't happen, thus I seemed like someone who had backed out. So I have my plans set out for more issues that could happen later, I'm not planning to fight, I'm planning to win, that's my motto. Fiasco Out. 

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Day 17: Animal Rights

Day 17: Animal Rights

" The secret to outclassing your enemies, is to think ahead"
Apologies for not posting throughout the whole weekend. It was a very long, adrenaline filled weekend. Thursday was alright. Valentines didn't go as great as I expected, but emotions were the last thing I was concerned about that night (I find it pointless, so yeah, didn't really care). My mind set was on the party later on that night. After a day that didn't go as I had planned emotionally, I was worried about me being in such a mood where I couldn't perform to the standards I set for myself. So as the day went on, I set about preparing everything, tracks, ideas, and a quick re-cap of everything for myself. Packed up my equipment, and went about. It took a while for the place to get set up properly. After it did, guess instead of letting the stress hold me down, I let it motivate me to go harder at it. It wasn't like my best set ever, but surely reaches the top. Why? Cause this is the first electronic crowd I've dj'd for in this backward hip hip country. Basically Omar and I destroyed it. Next day, was a fair thing at a school. Its the usual stuff, hanging with friends, and talking and enjoying whatever we get. If your someone who remembers anything from my beginning blog, people from my old ghetto ass school were there. As usual, they started calling me names. I ignored, but then I notice something, my ex standing in the middle of that group. I as usual, pretend I don't hear, keep my cool, and simply hold my friend in my arms and she gets what I'm doing (I know I have a girlfriend, she wasn't there, had to do something). Kept that going on for pretty much the whole night. Next day, I'm out with Lil Man and Omar and another friend. He takes a picture of me, and Instagrams it. First comment, the ex calling me a name. Wasn't going to stay quiet, replied. A couple of my friends had my back. It was basically an all out comment battle in which we were clearly winning ( 3 against 1, she had no chance of outsmarting us). Kept on going for about a couple of ours, then I get a phone call, saying I had to "count my days" because I was going to "die". Funny, and if I was back in Year 7 would've been excited, but since I hate getting physical know. One of my friends calls and fixes shit. But then that psycho calls her brother and over exaggerates everything, and he asks to meet me downstairs. We talk, and both agree she was wrong for starting it. He isn't happy about Omar's comment (Won't lie, was encouraged by me, and took things a bit over the top). To hell with it, things have been quiet ever since yesterday, hope that it stays that way and things die out. I have parties coming up, tests, and lots of other things I need to direct my attention and energy toward. Fiasco Out.

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

Day 16: Who's Wearing My Cap?

Day 16: Who's Wearing My Cap?

"A man's limit is his own minds madness"
It was a possibility of me making a wrong decision yesterday and stop blogging. Its become part of my daily routine, but apologies for missing a post yesterday. Basically what happened is that someone who's opinion and happiness matters more to me than my own didn't like the fact I was blogging. Had a good conversation with that person and glad we agreed to some logical terms. Tomorrow is Valentines day, probably one of the most pointless celebrations ever. I mean yeah, the gift is alright, but I treat my lady to the best of my abilities everyday (Well I try). Tomorrow should be no different since I'm already trying my hardest. Any who, since everyone is in that love mood, don't you get these moments where you just get lost in someone. Happened to me in English earlier on today. You see I was laying down next to an amazing girl, and like I just had this weird moment that I've never had before. I just turned toward her, admiring her beauty like I usually do, but then I found myself staring at her, and then its as if the whole class disappeared, and we were floating in nothing but space, still laying down with our hands together. I just had this moment where there was no time and space, just us, and utterly nothing but infinite. I was floating in like a vacuum space I guess in physical terms, but above me there were stars. I felt intoxicated, and I was scared, cause you don't get how real it felt. As soon as her eyes connected with mine, I snapped back to reality, only with a severe headache and back pain. I didn't mention it to anyone or her fearing she'll think its just one of my flirt moments, or think I was simply crazy. I can't describe how real it was. I don't get what it meant. After doing some research it could mean that I'm very attached to this person, or I'm crazy. I'd rather stick with the first choice. That's my story for today. It might seem like nothing big, but you don't get how real it was. I honestly felt a bit scared. I'll sleep it off. Omar said he had quite the dream last night. Me and him were sitting together, he was making out with a chick (No name rules apply) and I was sitting with another one in my arms (who isn't my girlfriend, or isn't really even a friend, but quite an attractive young lady). It was in a school which we'll visit in a couple of days, so God knows what will happen then. Perhaps he had some kind of paranormal connection and had a view into the future. Happens some times. Damn, I sound like a mad man. Any who, games on, and I'm killer tired tonight. Can't wait to DJ tomorrow, I'll try posting about it on Monday and say how it went (Expect me bragging about how I killed it though!). Fiasco Out.

Monday, February 11, 2013

Day 15: There Might Be Coffee

Day 15: There Might Be Coffee

"Me being a DJ isn't a career, its a lifestyle."
Plan didn't go as I expected today. No worries, I got a party coming up, good enough for me. Downloading music at the moment for it! The world can come crashing down, and as long as I got my mixer and got a crowd, nothing in the world can be wrong. I mean I'm about to hit 3 years of doing this. Dj'ing to most is nothing more than a career, to me its a way of life. It defines me as a person. The way I dress, walk, and talk, has all been shaped up by doing what I love the most. Any who, booked basically for the next 3 weeks, so that's good. Glad to see my career is getting back on track. Getting to an important point. I know I've been posting very personal things, but that's cause I never though everyone in my grade would be reading my blog. Things have been getting a bit out of control one could say, therefore things I post won't be as personal as they used to be. Will strive to keep things just as interesting though, so no worries. Any who, plans for this Thursday, I have a huge intro I'm planning to destroy that party. Fuck Valentines, fuck love, to hell to all that pointless shit, when Toxic Bass is on the decks, I'll blow the damn roof off that place! Although my life still isn't fully back on track, I'm still content and could settle with the way things are at the moment, but that's not how I do things. I'll aim for the top, and won't stop until I get there! Nothing interesting I guess happened today. I mean I'm just surprised of the close minded society I live in, how people made a big deal about me getting a kiss, how the other couples wait months before getting one kiss, and when they get the perfect opportunity they say "they're not ready". Treating it as if its having sex and somebody's going to get pregnant. I also have to deal with it I guess in my relationship, since me and my lovely lady were raised in different societies (I was raised in a completely American mindset, just not in America), and therefore have different opinions and mentalities. I'm a very open person and down for anything as long as I ain't putting my future or health in a jeopardy. Most people here aren't. Its something I have to deal with I guess, although the hoes here, are quite the hoes. If I go completely heartless, and you're a chick who almost lost her virginity at the age of 15, watch your back, I'm going hunting! Any who, short blog today, got lots to do in the next hour. Fiasco Out! 

Sunday, February 10, 2013

Day 14: 60 Miles Per Hour

Day 14: 60 Miles Per Hour

"Me and her aren't based on love. We're based on fun"
Before I start, let me thank all my readers and followers for helping me almost hit 600 views in  2 weeks only. If it wasn't for your support I wouldn't be motivated to blog everyday, so thank you for the bottom of my heart to everyone, I love you guys! Things just keep getting better! I just got a gig for Valentines, and it the first one I've gotten in quite a while. Lots of people are coming to this dance, so seems like career is kick starting again for the first time in months. Will practice since I'm a bit rough from a few months off, but I'm positive I'll be in very strong form and come at it super hard and make the night a killer night! Even if the gig doesn't pull through, the fact that we got offered one is the sign for the more parties to come. Decided not to keep the title a puzzle as usual. 60 Miles Per Hour is basically just a creative way of saying things are going fast, there going good, and adrenaline is rushing through me! I have like this plan I need to pull of tomorrow, so hopefully, it'll also go the way things have been going for the past couple of days. Can't say what it is though. I've certainly learned my lesson. Since again lots people read my blog, I just suggest people start blogging. Its a great way of releasing stress, and its also fun and eventually becomes part of your daily routine. Alright, since I'm used to writing stories, here's one that happened yesterday. In my year, I've been dating the most out of all the couples. I mean I'm over 4 months, and the people after me are like at 2 months and a half. Since I'm such a good-doer, I usually like to fix things up for the "less ripe" couples. Whether its finding a place where they can have there first kiss, or just generally trying to make things stronger for them. So basically, for a couple who are very good friends, I decided to sneak them in after school so they can have there first kiss. So basically, me and my lady, them, and like a couple of other people went to cover for them in case teachers come. We decided to close of the part of the corridor they were in since they were being so shy and nervous about it. My lady, who does have quite the arms from excessive basketball playing slammed the door shut and sealed off there part of the corridor. What we didn't know is that there was a teacher in one of the class rooms on there sides, and Thank God they didn't decide to kiss in the corridor but walk into a classroom instead. They saw him, and ran and started banging on the door, and I was too weak to open it, and my misses opened it instead (I know, I'm pathetic). We ran downstairs, and don't think he picked them up. No worries, we'll try tomorrow! Again, thanks for all the views and support, I love you all! Fiasco Out.

Day 13: Of Mice and Men

Day 13: Of Mice and Men 

“A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.”
I know today's blog is a bit late. Its a weekend day, so I went out, don't blame me. Any who, today's blog is pretty long, which really isn't a surprise, because I had a long day. So yeah, basically what I'm going to do is blast on about the weird yet awesome things about that person I love. I can endlessly joke with her, conversations do die out eventually, but when they do we just look at each other and smile. I don't get a single word she's saying sometimes cause she's always talking too fast, and I end up hoping she didn't ask a question and just nod my head. She's always walking into stuff, and she always either breaks something, spills something, or just messes our practicals in Chemistry. When I fall asleep in class (which I tend to do a lot) she slaps the living hell out of me until I wake up. She always asks me what's wrong when I feel down, and just stares at me as I rape her with my life issues, and usually gives me this blank stare after it. You could've guessed it, she's the mixed girl in your math class type, but with a twist. Her beauty isn't hidden. To me she's the prettiest thing ever. She's also not anti-social. Yes she's far from a social elite just like I am, but she's the girl who absolutely has no enemies. I love her, with all my heart, every vessel, every flower that I've ever torn apart. Alright, got that point over with. Valentines is coming up, which I find pretty much a pointless occasion. If you love someone, you should express your love for them every day, not just one day of the year. Yes you don't get them a gift everyday, but still, expressing your love more on one day is stupid. I know personally, other than getting my lady a gift (Just so we're not the only couple who didn't get each other anything) there will be nothing unusual about the way I treat her. In addition, my financial life is horrible at the moment. I have money, lots of it, but issue is all of it is with my parents and they don't want to give any of it (Its my damn money). Any who, today our trio was out as usual. We firstly went for Shisha, but the Lil Man being little, wasn't aloud in. So we walked out with him and let Ibrahim (my awesome driver who basically chills with us all the time) have his fun. Its a shame seeing how his height could deprive him of such things, but in case he thought we were pissed, we're not, I'm not a fan of Shisha anyways. Since we're broke as hell, we decided to go get some hot drinks by the Nile as the cold air view, and ended the day by dropping off in my house that's being built near the Nile (kind of like some beach house thing). Funny how me and Omar were already planning out a party before the construction is ever complete! Alright, basically, I just wanted to end it off on a positive note, since this was one of the only positive days I've had in a couple of months thanks to the most amazing girl in the world. I love you darling, and thank you for everything. I'm so happy! Any who, my title choice. Yes its a book and poem, and one that were reading in school. But I just noticed how sad the poem is, I mean the saddest thing was the idea that there dreams could've came true, but they never did. Hope its different with us. Fiasco Out.

Friday, February 8, 2013

Day 12: My Decisions Make Me Who I Am

"Regrets are the pain of memories"

Day 12: My Decisions Make Me Who I Am

Apologies for not updating my blog yesterday. Decided that should be my day off instead of today, well at least for this week. Thursday was nice. First Thursday I had in a while that felt like I had my life which I had a few months back. Toxic Bass is back bitches! (Sorry, felt the need to say that). I'm not going to go through what happened, I basically chilled with my friends and went cruising with a car. Though an event which I witnessed made me even more confused about my life. I saw a couple which isn't even official get more physical than I have in 4 months. I mean they did get a bit too physical in my opinion, but still, it was nice seeing them happy. Kind of hurt realizing I'll never get the same thing in the present. I might not be great at lying, but lying to myself and pretending I'm okay I've become an expert on. I'll just smile, laugh like I usually do, and act as if nothings wrong. Shouldn't be that hard now, I've been doing it pretty much my whole life. A few people said they pity me, like readers of my blog who are also friends or happen to go to the same school. I don't need pity, and you shouldn't feel sorry for me. Things can be much better for me, they should be much better for me. I chose to walk down this road, and I'll deal with the consequences. If you're also having the time of your life now, enjoy it, cause you'll go through hell later. I'd rather suffer as a teenager and live the life as an adult than the other way around. I don't have any responsibilities now, so I might as well suffer and get it over with. Its no one's fault but me, and I'm happy with every decision I make. I regret some, but to hell with it. Life doesn't give you time to sit back and regret the billions of wrong moves that you've made. I know I've made much more wrong decisions with bigger things recently than I had in the past. I'll accept them and move on. Its not like I have much of a choice. Fiasco out.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Day 11: Turning Back The Clock

Day 11: Turning Back The Clock

"A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree."

Everyone has regrets. You might see there copied Facebook quotes of how they don't regret things they've done, but like things they've done to the wrong people, and things they haven't done. Well that's true, but we also regret things we've done, and you know that's true. I have my regrets. In fact, I have so many, I probably forgot most of them (Good thing in a bad way I guess). I switched schools this year, and I'm very happy with the decision I've made. Thanks to a few very good friends, I've settled in swiftly, and very well. Since I'm a genius (Note the sarcasm) I was the only new student in Year 10. I knew a few people that mattered, and they made sure I settled in easily. Since I was the only new student, all the new kid attention which would usually be distributed equally among the new peeps was only directed to me. So imagine getting the attention that was meant for like 7 people all at once, and then having it last for like 3 months or so. Made me a bit cocky, but I'm content looking back at it. So basically, those 3 months were really nice, I had awesome friends, the same best friend, and a more than perfect career. I know the career just depends on timing, but as time passed, I kind of grew some distance between those friends, and gained others who I guess can't even compare with them (Not talking in the content of best friends, but like just very close friends here). I sat with a couple of them in English today, and realized how much I miss having there company. What I'll try doing is turning back the clock, and getting stuff like they used to be. I mean my life is horrible now, and I've realized it could be cause these people aren't around as much to make me laugh my ass off and make what usually was the lamest class a lot more funner. The whole 80 minutes went by as if they were like 10 minutes! These people are real to me, and situations keep coming up where their emergence feels natural. So what I'll do is hope that my attempt in turning back the clock is successful! Before I end this blog, I'd just like to thank this amazing person who was there for me a couple of days ago which I had a huge amount of frustration on. Thank you for always being there for me. Fiasco Out!  

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Day 10: Be Yourself, Be Happy!

"My happiness doesn't depend on somebody; it depends on me"

Day 10: Be Yourself, Be Happy!

 I'm not the guy to take advice from, I drink away my pains through energy drinks, set no goals, and just let things happen. But today, and for the first time, I took my own advice, on how to make my own life better, and how you can make yours better. We've lived doing things poorly for so long, we don't even realize our full potential. Sometimes things happen, and we react badly. A good example is my blog yesterday that made no sense what so ever. I was mad, had a rough day, felt very frustrated, so I reacted, its how we, and I, do things. Goal Setting? Bull Shit. Its very hard to take things one by one. I have to deal with five basic thing: Education, Social Life (Friends), Career, Relationship, and Family. The secret to being anywhere near smart isn't hard, and getting good grades doesn't mean you're smart either. I'm horrible at math, everyone has there weaknesses. I was never good with numbers, I try, but I always fail, I've learned to accept that and try my best at it, and knowing that I did, no matter how badly I'm doing, I'm content. The secret is time management. Just do your homework, study for the test the day before for like the whole day, and you should be on track to getting where you want to be! Social Life is the difficult part, as long as you have a couple of best friends who are trustworthy, you're good to go. If you don't, life will make you run into some, never lose hope. Just be careful who you trust, once a hoe, always a hoe. Bad friends will turn you bad (speaking in the content of drugs, and alcohol). That wasn't the case with me, but I have my morals (my father raised me in a completely anti all the stuff way, and my grandfather died from smoking caused diseases, so that's the reason I stay clean). Find good friends, you'll be happy. Life will throw a lot of bad friends at you, but friendship grows with time, and with friendship, comes trust! If you have a few best friends, you'll never feel the need to be an elite in your school or something. Relationships are difficult to understand, especially at our age. I've always been the person to fix up other people's relationships, and I've probably helped out more guys than I could count get that girl (Applaud Please!). But I never really noticed the two major factors to an important relationship in a high school life that has the potential to last for a very long time. Think of it this way, an airplane can't fly with one wing, relationships are the same way. At the high school level, they're based on mental, and physical connection. Mentally, you just really need to have emotions for the other person, its simple, if you're thinking about them all day, and they're the person you think about in all love songs, then you pretty much are picking up the signs. Physical connection is having fun. Ladies, spicing things up doesn't make you a hoe, just keep your body in your clothes, and you're fine. Other than that, get as creative as you want, just make sure your not being taken advantage of. Pick the signs of that up by noticing that its being only built on the physical stuff. Family, well your parents know what's best, everything they do, its for your own good, we don't get it at this age, I don't either, but I know I will when I grow up. Any who, I'm done being a life coach, but I do hope you consider my advice! I took it today for the first time, and I'm in an awesome mood. Lastly, little things like plenty of sleep and music are awesome for you! Fiasco Out. 

Monday, February 4, 2013

Day 9: Bleed Until I Die

Day 9: Bleed Until I Die  

“Why do beautiful songs make you sad?' Because they aren't true.Nothing is beautiful and true.”
Can this day get any worse? Usually I'd always look on the bright side of things. But I can't anymore. I shouldn't be typing this up for the public, but fuck it, it's my only way of taking out my stress. I'm miserable. The person who I put over anyone else, and value over any other person, just never seems to have the mutual idea. My career is not here anymore to distract me, and I'm certainly not in the mood to use studying to distract me. I believe in things I don't comprehend, therefore my destiny is to endlessly suffer this way. I'll always be caught up trying to do the fucking impossible. The problem is I'm not in pain enough like I was last year to convert that pain into happiness in my mind. I'm trying to live a life that was never meant to be. I was never destined to get anywhere far. I never had a best friend, I never had a girl friend, never had a career, I had nothing. Having what you once wanted doesn't necessarily make you happy. Especially when you get what you want in the most horrible of forms. All I can say is that I have great best friend, but what do you do when that's all you got? Being honest, my career is downhill and pissed to the point to say that a couple in damn Year 6 gets more physical in there relationships than I do. (Not really a problem, but very frustrating).  This day went nothing like I imagined. What should've been a day to remember has now turned into a day were I feel like I'm crawling on broken glass. I'd be happy if I bled to death rather than all this shit. I'm tripping, an overdose on energy drinks gets me feeling a bit drowsy. I know I can make all these fake ass hoes bow in the presence of greatness, one thing I'll promise myself, even though I might be trippin at the moment, I won't remove, or edit this blog in any detailed why. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger. Welcome to the life of Fiasco, a life where I complicate shit to the point where everything becomes difficult to comprehend, and then I drink away my pain through consumption of high amounts energy drinks. I chose this, when I know I could fuck who I want, fuck who you don't, defy limits, and break records. I'll be lost in a twister of emotions and lie to myself and everyone through it until shit get better. Fiasco out.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Day 8: The Neutral Perspective

"I don't hate you, hating you would mean I care"
No more headache, this requires a celebration! Not going to talk much about my day, nothing interesting happened. Title won't be a puzzle again, I'm simply going to analyze my current life through a neutral perspective, and compare myself to the two friends I adore the most (Yes Homo!). If I say anything harsh or I shouldn't say, that's not me, its just the neutral point of view of myself standing over an identical person. Lets start off with what I value over anything. Family, not much to it. I love my family, no problems with any, most stable family I've ever seen. No disadvantages really, other than the usual issues of not going out often. I still end up going out, so I'm alright. Great positives: They don't bother me in my education with the "stay home and study phrases". I get stuff done my way, and that's been working awesomely with me. I'm also allowed to openly date, and they're cool to the point where I can bring my girlfriend home, lock my room with her, and not get a single question after it. Too bad can't take advantage of that since my girlfriend doesn't go out. Going onto my next part, probably the most delicate one, so I'll have to watch my choice of words. Negative points: None! Just kidding, not letting emotions take over. So seriously, negatives are she doesn't go out, and has no phone. I've learned to live with that, so alright, not effecting me, but still for the sake of the perspective, had to be put there. I also have to deal with limits. I personally have none, only thing I won't do is get any where close to having my girlfriend on 16 and pregnant. Other than that, I guess I'm really down for anything. As awesome as it would be for my misses to share the same opinion, she doesn't, so there's really nothing "spicy" in my current relationship. All I'll say, and again, nothing serious, but for the sake of the perspective. Positives: She loves me (I hope) and its mutual (I hope too, no one ever really does know if its love or hormones at this age). Its also kept me settled down for quite a while, and she's good at comforting me! Education is next, I'm the average B student I guess. Grades will be hopefully enough to get me into a top flight university . Friends, I got two of the best, my amazing buddy Lil_Man and Omar. Other than that I have those who are close, those who are alright, and those who I just say hello to. Only issue is that most of my close friends are the most two faced bitches on the planet. If I ever try taking our friendship to the next level, they always give me a reason why I shouldn't. I do make a few mistakes every now and then, and things might slip out of my mouth and cause a mess, but its nothing nearly as much as these people talk. Career has recently been going downhill, but that's the beauty of it. A few months I'll have maybe one gig, and then the next the whole damn city will be talking about me, and then one gig again. I'm pretty content with the way things are. There's always that one person who you have a soft spot for, and you'll try making room for in your life, but for some reason its always blocked off, either by the timing, you, or that person, yet you always blame yourself for it. No more details on that, a bit too personal. My cockiness issue seems to be under control, and I'm a bit more content. I've always known my place in society, I just like to joke around about how awesome I am, and people take it seriously. One thing that will never be effected by anyone, or anything. I'll always be over-confident. I'll walk with my head held up high saying I get who I want, and get who you don't. I do what I want, and do what you don't. I don't start competitions, but if you pick one with me and its under my control, I will do everything you can do better. I'll always strive to be a leader, and not a follower. If you mistake for my confidence and will power for cockiness, and you're older than 12 years old, you really need a check up on your maturity level. Lastly, one thing any neutral person would love, and lots of people lack for reasons I don't comprehend. I don't give a fuck about anyone who doesn't like me. You don't like me? That's your problem, I don't give a damn and won't even try with you as long as you're not talking any shit about me. As long as you don't do that, I don't hate you, hating would mean I care. Alright, sounding cocky, and tone is turning a bit too violent, that's my cue to end. Fiasco Out. 

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Day 7: Nothing More Than A Typical Day

Day 7: Nothing More Than A Typical Day

"Life is a fine combination of holding on and letting go"
Major headache, repulsive mood for the third day in a row. Just back home. Been out with Omarian. Four months anniversary in two days, and being the lame boyfriend I am, I got her a gift, and we shall celebrate me growing up, and deciding to settle down with a girl for more than a couple of months! I had a horrible feeling when paying the money, it wasn't cheap, got her some expensive chocolate (I know, I'm very creative -note the sarcasm-). Went a bit beyond and got it wrapped and I won't write up a new poem this time, just a card that says happy anniversary xoxo I'll be damn pissed if you don't make out with me after I got off my lazy ass and got you a gift, Love Fiasco! All in a days work, but I got my mind straight though, like sorted a few things that have been really stressing me out. Basically, I've talked to a few friends about how I've been stuck between friends, and my life in the past, and how its been keeping me held down from fulfilling my full potential in the present, and the future. I've been forced to let go of childhood friends for selfish reasons, but for the sake of my life and career. Any man knows that life is nothing more than a fine combination of holding on, and letting go. I've also decided my priorities, and they go in this order, no sympathy to anyone, just an honest list: Family, Education, Relationship, Career, Friends. Being honest, family over anything or anyone. Education over my relationship seems a bit odd. But my girlfriend won't be paying my bills when I'm in my 30's. Speaking about my relationship, guess who has competition? Yes, like any attractive female, a few guys like her. I won't say any details, but my friend from his school told me that this dude is crazy about her, and like any love struck guy, he stalks me, even reads my blog (I honestly laughed uncontrollably when I heard this over the phone). I don't think she knows about this specific guy, but who knows who he is since he's the only loser this sad to stalk me. Any who, you can try brother, challenge accepted. I'll tell her, give you a head start! Thirsty niggers. Glad I got that off my mind. Any who, I was just watching UnderEmployed, great show It just shows how we all have our crazy dreams, but they'll never come true. I'll leave you on that thought, and that crazy crush dude, overthink everything I said, I love me some competition. Fiasco Out. 

Friday, February 1, 2013

Day 6: Time Wasted

Day 6: Time Wasted

Pay no mind to those who talk behind your back, it simply means you are two steps ahead.
Thursday, finally that day of the week where I can enjoy the company of friends. Today was a horrible day, so I'm in a repulsive mood. As usual, most of my friend were probably getting high, thus, I decided to avoid them. My only other super close friend chilled with his girlfriend but had to leave early (Was chilling with them, super third wheel feeling). My day had been done by 10:30, unlike the 1 AM nights I was used to. Yesterday's blog also caused quite the drama. Apparently I said that I like the girl the blog was on and I don't like my girlfriend. I don't think it said that on my blog. Only thing I probably shouldn't of wrote for the sake of my relationship was that "best thing that ever happened to me" line. What happened is over. Won't edit it. Just wanted to say that my blogs are straight forward. You don't need to make any assumptions, or read between any lines. I mean what I say, nothing more, nothing less. I'm starting to get readers (HELL YEAH). But I'm running out of stories, at least ones that won't get me in any trouble. Currently stuck between something in the past, and the present. This is something that could mess up everything I stand for, so forgive me for being very vague and not giving any details about it. But I just feel like I'm playing a game of chess. I can sacrifice one of my strongest pieces, for the risk that I get another stronger one back, but later. Get what I mean? Didn't think so, God I'm so confused, like a kill me now feeling. I also noticed how a few decisions I made changed my social reputation. Not in a good way, but I'll make do with what I have. I'm very stressed out, there's nothing to distract me at the moment. I haven't Dj'd a party in 2013. I have my four months anniversary coming up, and I have to be creative I guess. I know I won't come up with anything but a love poem or letter, and some fancy chocolate. Lastly, I'm thinking Friday should be like my day off from blogging, I mean this thing is crazy addictive. Apologies for not giving you some dramatic story like I'm used to provide, but I'll have something by Saturday very interesting. Apparently I have one of my friends talking shit behind my back. My back isn't a damn voice mail, so if you got something to say, say it to my face. You're probably reading this, but I'll pick on you on my next blog. Until Saturday. Fiasco Out.