Day 53: A Summer Bromance

Day 53: A Summer Bromance 

I type this before I jump into a math chapter of graphs I barely know anything about. God knows how I'll pass IG's. The amount of pressure is unbearable. Here's a nice fact about me. I guess how my week is going to be based on football results on the weekend. And, yesterday, Chelsea lost. Far from a good sign. Add to that the fact that every team I hate won. I'm highly superstitious when it comes to things like this. The fact that I have a lot of things taking this place is far from comforting too. Math test tomorrow, religion test on Tuesday, chemistry test on Wednesday, and a history report due God knows when. Parent's evening on Wednesday or something too. I mean this situation can't get any worse. The thing is, I never have time to "just study". I do, but it's not enough. For example, I just woke up around 30 minutes ago. I need at least half an hour to get myself properly functioning. By the time I ate something and freshened up for my day, it'll be around 11:45. Assume I have two hours of homework. By the time I'm done it's around 2. I have 3 hours and a half to study. I have to get a million things I barely understand perfectly in my mind by that time. Around 5, I leave for a lesson and by the time I'm back, it's 9, and my mind has had so many things thrown at it, it just simply closes off, I'm fatigued, and by 10, I probably fall asleep in my clothes without even noticing. The daily life of an IG candidate. I barely interact with people anymore. I mean it's not just my weekends that these lessons have ruined, but notice in that schedule, I don't even have time to just watch TV. Listen to music, text a few friends. I've been horrible at keeping in touch lately, and if you're one of those people I used to talk on a daily basis, my deepest apologies, don't blame me, blame the IG life. The past week hasn't been very productive educationally. Every time I decide to study, I fall asleep (I think my mind does it on purpose). Countless doses of caffeine don't work anymore, as if my body has developed some type of biological immunity to it. But then again, it hasn't been completely unproductive when it comes to things such as pointless girls and friends drama (then again, when do I ever get a break from shit like that). I was nothing more than a crush. Those words were said recently  and damn did they finally bring some logic into some of this shit. I'm nothing more than the crush kind of guy you feel me? I mean I'll be super kind and a girl will take if for flirting, while acknowledging the fact that I probably say similar things to every girl I talk to, which is true, I am sadly, the nice guy person who won't ever put you down. I'm not hideous (at least I hope not). I'm immature and will occasionally make sexual jokes and push my limits thus offending a female, and then apologizing in some emotional way which makes me come of as I don't know, something. But add to the mix the fact that at times I turn into some philosophical character and say shit which could be quite impressive. I'll make forever alone and internet jokes. I mean the list of things I do does seem to go on. And to some girl that's really "cute". Boom! Next day I'm in my philosophical or whatever mood, play with words and make her admit slight emotions (even if it's just attraction), push things up a level, date for a few months, and then she figures, I was nothing more than a crush driven by the major lust females have but deny. When that happens, I get ignored for a month (majorly uncalled for ironic yet funny remark, well at least to me), get a text out of the blue when absolutely everything is going fine (another ironic remark), or yeah, you get what I mean. I'm easily attached therefore I can't do much about it, I get a text with the usual "it wasn't you, it was me" speech stolen off some cheesy and extremely popular dramatic TV show, and I'm back to how things were. Add to the mix that it barely takes me any time to get over someone no matter how attached I am. Give it a week, and I'm cracking jokes about the billions of flaws I missed the whole time! I usually blame myself for things, like hey, I never should have done that, or said that. That's the reason. Everyone agrees to it. But no. It's never something I did. It's simply who I am. I am blabbing on so I'll pause myself. Just for the record, I get it's not right for me to classify myself as whatever I just classified myself as, but then again, not like someone else has a blog about me, so I'll just speak from unbiased and real perspective as much as I can. I really wanted to talk about something more important considering I put things like that on hold. The community I'm in based on hypocrisy is killing me. I'll leave that to the next post though, and sincerest apologies for my uncalled for remarks. I'm an sarcastic asshole, one of the traits that make me fall in love with myself. With all due respect, Fiasco Out.