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| "Regrets are the pain of memories" |
Day 12: My Decisions Make Me Who I Am
Apologies for not updating my blog yesterday. Decided that should be my day off instead of today, well at least for this week. Thursday was nice. First Thursday I had in a while that felt like I had my life which I had a few months back. Toxic Bass is back bitches! (Sorry, felt the need to say that). I'm not going to go through what happened, I basically chilled with my friends and went cruising with a car. Though an event which I witnessed made me even more confused about my life. I saw a couple which isn't even official get more physical than I have in 4 months. I mean they did get a bit too physical in my opinion, but still, it was nice seeing them happy. Kind of hurt realizing I'll never get the same thing in the present. I might not be great at lying, but lying to myself and pretending I'm okay I've become an expert on. I'll just smile, laugh like I usually do, and act as if nothings wrong. Shouldn't be that hard now, I've been doing it pretty much my whole life. A few people said they pity me, like readers of my blog who are also friends or happen to go to the same school. I don't need pity, and you shouldn't feel sorry for me. Things can be much better for me, they should be much better for me. I chose to walk down this road, and I'll deal with the consequences. If you're also having the time of your life now, enjoy it, cause you'll go through hell later. I'd rather suffer as a teenager and live the life as an adult than the other way around. I don't have any responsibilities now, so I might as well suffer and get it over with. Its no one's fault but me, and I'm happy with every decision I make. I regret some, but to hell with it. Life doesn't give you time to sit back and regret the billions of wrong moves that you've made. I know I've made much more wrong decisions with bigger things recently than I had in the past. I'll accept them and move on. Its not like I have much of a choice. Fiasco out.
I see some Eminem in this "it's no ones fault but my own it's the path I've chosen to go" props to you though :)
ReplyDeleteSomeone's got Marksman skills! I actually thought of it while typing it, but so its not clear I decided to play with it a bit, but you picked it out :) Love that song, still addicted to it when I'm down :)
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