Day 20: Silenced By The Night

Day 20: Silenced By The Night

"The blood of a martyr is a million times more scared than the ink of a scholar"

Still nothing great happening. I mean I try to be happy out of the slightest things, but there was nothing really to smile about since yesterday. I woke up today, distracted myself from the troubles of life by playing a couple hours on my PlayStation. Its an old game, one about a cow boy, in the old Americas. He was in a gang, blinded by the gangs moralities. He had a family, but he was shot and thrown in the middle of the desert and left for dead, only to be rescued. He is now a bounty hunter, doing what he can in order to go back and demolish the gang that he once called family. Although it may not be the same violent situation with us, we've all went through the same stuff. Some of us even killed (mentally) by who we once considered our second family. I know that feeling, when you'd rather bleed to death than go out that way. Standing in the line of fire of your own friends. It qualifies to me as the worst way to go. I mean it qualifies as dying as a martyr. And to me, and to all those with my mentality, a drop of blood of a martyr is a million times more valuable than all the miles of ink put down by all of history's scholars. What I just stated is a bit complicated, so you can re read it and try comprehending what I'm trying to state. Any who, I have a gut feeling something bad is going to happen, I don't know why. But something will come crashing down, as if I don't have enough things falling down at the moment. Going to try sneaking out this Thursday. I'm going to try my hardest to set up everything so I have 2 or 3 hours to go out. I mean I can apologize, but I hate apologizing to my parents when I'm confident I'm correct, and the only reason they're mad is cause I'm growing up. Maybe too fast, but not fast enough to expose me to any danger. I'll think of something and hopefully have something solid by Tuesday. As for my career, I'm really being held back by not having a reliable laptop. I'm trying to save up for one, but God knows when I'll be able to hit 750 dollars. Also working on getting some air time on a radio, and setting up a recording studio. That's at least 2,500 dollars of equipment, but if I can get that, then I can let my skills prosper even more. Relationship update is fine I guess. Won't lie for the sake of spotlight and say its amazing, but its good, not bad maybe. Certainly not bad enough for me to complain. Not great though, maybe its cause I've settled in, I don't know, its honestly the last thing I want to worry about with all the problems I have at home and with my career. Maybe its cause I had my hopes up too high about it. Any who, going to go watch countless episodes of Underemployed, Fiasco Out.