Day 9: Bleed Until I Die

Day 9: Bleed Until I Die  

“Why do beautiful songs make you sad?' Because they aren't true.Nothing is beautiful and true.”

Can this day get any worse? Usually I'd always look on the bright side of things. But I can't anymore. I shouldn't be typing this up for the public, but fuck it, it's my only way of taking out my stress. I'm miserable. The person who I put over anyone else, and value over any other person, just never seems to have the mutual idea. My career is not here anymore to distract me, and I'm certainly not in the mood to use studying to distract me. I believe in things I don't comprehend, therefore my destiny is to endlessly suffer this way. I'll always be caught up trying to do the fucking impossible. The problem is I'm not in pain enough like I was last year to convert that pain into happiness in my mind. I'm trying to live a life that was never meant to be. I was never destined to get anywhere far. I never had a best friend, I never had a girl friend, never had a career, I had nothing. Having what you once wanted doesn't necessarily make you happy. Especially when you get what you want in the most horrible of forms. All I can say is that I have great best friend, but what do you do when that's all you got? Being honest, my career is downhill and pissed to the point to say that a couple in damn Year 6 gets more physical in there relationships than I do. (Not really a problem, but very frustrating).  This day went nothing like I imagined. What should've been a day to remember has now turned into a day were I feel like I'm crawling on broken glass. I'd be happy if I bled to death rather than all this shit. I'm tripping, an overdose on energy drinks gets me feeling a bit drowsy. I know I can make all these fake ass hoes bow in the presence of greatness, one thing I'll promise myself, even though I might be trippin at the moment, I won't remove, or edit this blog in any detailed why. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger. Welcome to the life of Fiasco, a life where I complicate shit to the point where everything becomes difficult to comprehend, and then I drink away my pain through consumption of high amounts energy drinks. I chose this, when I know I could fuck who I want, fuck who you don't, defy limits, and break records. I'll be lost in a twister of emotions and lie to myself and everyone through it until shit get better. Fiasco out.